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On Christmas Eve I had a difficult time staying asleep. During my restlessness, I recalled varied Christmas hymns, their melodies, and words; “Once in royal David’s city,” “O night divine,” “O night when Christ was born,” “Silent night, holy night,” “What child is this?” “This, this is Christ the King…” I sank into a deep slumber, only to awaken at 4:30 for an early flight. 

I was tired relationally. My capacity had been expended with one side of the family, and now we were traveling to spend five days with the other side of the family. Overwhelmed with life, I boarded the plane and took my seat.  I was not interested in reading, a deeper felt need beckoned. I desired to be with God, I needed a Savior, a Savior from me, my feelings and my disordered thoughts which were running to extremes—change everything or nothing. The truth is I yearned for God, to meditate, to reflect, to employ my mind in contemplation of God. 

I flashed back to my early years of teaching Bible when my students lacked language to talk about God. I recalled how deliberate I became, instructing in the words which both named and characterized God. After reading and narrating the passage, we gave attention to the descriptive names of God, recording them on the classroom board and in our hearts.  

The simple principles of singing (beginning with do-re-mi) and reading (beginning with a, b, c) apply here. I needed a guide to order my thoughts about our Triune God. My students and I would rehearse this knowledge in alphabetical order—Abba Father, Beloved, the Christ, Deliverer, Elohim, Father, God Almighty, Holy, Invincible, Jehovah Jireh, King of Kings, Love, Messiah, Omnipotent, great Physician, Radiant One, Strong Tower, Triumphant One, United, Vine, Wonderful, Zoe … 

With misty eyes, tears trickling beneath my mask, I reconciled myself to God; God is in this place. For a time, I knew it not. I am not alone. I have a rudder.   

The stewardess asked us to prepare for landing. We are at 10,000 feet. She’ll be coming around the cabin one last time. Put seat backs up… Gazing out the window, the matchbox world below seemed small in comparison to its Creator. Small but relevant, for here I am, called to live in His presence and by His sustaining power.  I began anew. Almighty God, Benefactor, Comforter, Defender, Eternal, Faithful, God… 

In the light of our God, our Father, Savior and King, and the Spirit given to us; may we all begin anew this January first.